Loving you through phases
Even the ones I wanna leave behind
- Sarah Jarosz, The Way it is Now
If there’s one thing that’s true in this life, it’s that there’s going to be change. Relationships go through phases, as do lakes.
I met my first friend at age three. We grew up next door to each other and spent our early years together. After high school we went our separate ways to different schools. Four years later, we reconnected and shared an apartment together in Minneapolis for three years. Then I got married and moved up north. She got married and moved around too. We kept in touch, but didn’t see each other as much. The last few years flew by as we got busy with our hectic kid schedules. This year we reconnected again as she got a cancer diagnosis. Our friendship has gone through phases of closeness and distance, but we have a deep connection that will always be there.
We went through phases we loved, and phases we want to leave behind. We loved making necklaces and playing dress up when we were little. When we lived together in our early 20s we’d go out for sushi and wine on hot humid days because our apartment didn’t have air conditioning. One time after two much wine I bought some hideous giraffe-print pants!
We’d like to leave behind a scary incident in third grade in the park where a classmate threatened us with a knife, her Dad’s second marriage, my bout of anxiety in my 20s, and her cancer diagnosis this year.
Lakes go through phases too, some clear and beautiful, some green and cloudy. After the ice goes out in the spring, the lake turns over and mixes from top to bottom. This mixing brings nutrients up from the bottom to feed plants and algae. During spring turnover, the lake can look cloudy due to the mixing. Then in early June, the lake enters its clear water phase. The mixing has settled and the top layer of water warms up and separates from the cold bottom layer. The zooplankton (tiny crustaceans) in the lake flourish and eat all the algae, causing the water to become crystal clear. As the summer heats up and storms come through, algae blooms can happen and make the water green. Then in the fall, the lake cools off and mixes again.
These phases, whether in relationships or in lakes, are part of life and nature. Some phases are challenging and cloudy, while others enjoyable and clear. No matter what phase you are in now, know that it will change into something else down the line.
This is the way it is now
Even with the darkness nippin’ at my heels
The goodness is still dancin’ me around
This is the way it is now
It’s a hard time, but it’s our time
And someday we’ll be looking back
Missin’ the way it is now
This is the way it is now
- Sarah Jarosz, The Way it is Now
Moriya Rufer is a lake biologist with 20 years experience working with lakes in northern Minnesota.
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