“Why did I spend so much time watching for the next milestone when the next milestone never meant the freedom I expected”
- Margaret Renkl, Late Migrations
My kids are lake kids. They’ve been at the lake in strollers as babies, toddlers, and now as teens. Each stage of life we had a different relationship with the lake.
When they were babies I walked them to the lake in the stroller and laid them on a blanket on the beach in the shade of a tree. They kicked, cooed, and smiled. It was so peaceful; I would lay there too, looking up at the clouds. We would stay until naptime, or until moods changed. I thought, “this will be so fun when they can play and swim”.
My son was born in October, so was nine months old his first summer – perfect sand-eating age. He’s a tactile learner and crawled in the sand constantly putting it in his mouth. That was a tough summer for being at the beach and I thought, “this would be so much easier when he can walk”.
When they were toddlers to elementary age, my group of friends that are moms met at the beach every Friday morning. It was glorious chaos and a ritual we looked forward to. Swimming, sandcastles, fighting, tantrums, crying, and snacks, we moms needed the camaraderie of each other to weather that stage. My daughter and her best friend each had the single most violent tantrums that I can ever remember them having on one of those Fridays. It ended with one of them punching a tree, and to this day we don’t remember which one did that! We were together so much that our memories are shared. We laughed and cried about it together and then all headed home for afternoon nap time. I thought, “wow, this will be so much easier when they are older”.
But when they got older they wanted to hang out with their own friends. Now we invite their friends (still some of the same kids as the earlier stage) to the beach or to the boat and they sit and talk, tan, laugh, and eat snacks. They still swim together, and their inner kids come out. I capture these moments with a smile and a flashback to the Fridays when they were elementary age.
Now that they’re teenagers, I find myself looking back on all the different stages of bringing kids to the lake. Each stage has its challenges, joys, and triumphs, and I wouldn’t trade any of them. Now I’m just focused on soaking up the rest of the years that they live at home.
Moriya Rufer is a water quality professional with 20 years experience working with lakes in northern Minnesota.
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